Just For Giggles

 

Vulture at the airport

 A vulture is going on holidays and as he boards the plane he was stopped by the hostess.

She asked if he had anything to declare. The vulture said, no just my carrion. 

Relax and laugh out loud it’s Friday

Not sure which one I like the most in these memes, the flea collar one or the lady patting the sporran 🤣🤣🤣

 

Monday shits and giggles

 

Sunday laughs

 

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman

 A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar……. Ouch! They should have really paid attention 🤪🤪

Tea is an evil substance

 

Shame on those women that can’t hold their tea! I drink mine responsibly. This reminds me of the “quick before it starts” joke, my dad told me many years ago🤣🤣🤣

https://otfjokes.com/sexist-jokes/joke-get-me-a-beer-before-it-starts/

Non PC joke

 An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar

 

Euripides

 

An ancient Greek walks into a tailor's shop with a pair of torn trousers.

The tailor days; Euripides?

Yup; replies the guy

Eumenides? 

Tailor: Yup

Sunday funnies

 

Two guys chatting in the pub and one guy says, Hey, do you believe in clubs for women?

The other guy says, sure, if a smack round the back of the head doesn’t work.

50 shades of driving

 

This is a bathroom

 Just remember, the job’s not finished until the paperwork’s done! 🤪🤣🤣

Monday drolls

Ach, it’s a sair fecht

 Aye, michty me Wullie it is indeed! 

This is a well known and well loved cartoon character from Scotland called  oor Wullie. Translated  Our Willie. He is saying oh it’s a hard fight or struggle.  We say this when it is one of those days when it is a struggle with life not going the way we intend. 

At Christmas most kids are delighted to get this comic book as a gift. Or the rival comic book The Broons/ the Browns in English.

Which is a family living in an apartment block and the humours antics of daily life of the family. These cartoons are still in publication today I am  happy to say. Hours of fun for the entire family to laugh and share with each other. I still have  editions from the late 1970’s. Part of my fond memories growing up. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oor_Wullie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Broons

Great buffet

 All you can eat! Challenge accepted 🤪🤪

Sarcasm Thursday

 

Thursday night funnies