Showing posts with label JOKES AND MEMES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKES AND MEMES. Show all posts

03 July, 2023

Funny meme and memories


 This made me LOL, I remember many years ago when my house was being extended and at the end of a work day one of the tradies (tradesmen) had left our gate open. It was a cold winter night and I suddenly realised that out Jack Russell, Sparky was missing. 

His nickname was Puss, and that came about because as a puppy he had gone under my bed and wouldn’t come out. I was in a hurry to pick my small children up from school and this was just what I didn’t need.

So after trying to coax Sparky with different sounds I just went Puss, Puss, Puss and he came bolting out and ran to me. I laughed and thought, no way. So I did it again and sure enough he responded.

So after that we all called him Puss as his nickname. Anyway back to the story, this night he was missing in action, I went around the streets looking for him calling Puss, Puss, Puss. And all these cats came from all directions 🤣🤣🤣🐈. It’s amazing what we don’t know goes on after dark with animals. All of these cats around me, heaps of them. There is me saying, no I am not looking for you guys. 

Quickly distancing myself from all these cats that had been distracted from their nocturnal social activities. Eventually I decided to go home. And then I thought what about looking under the house. Sure enough. He was right at the little door trapped and waiting to be rescued. Poor little Sparky, he obviously had followed a tradie under the house at some point in the late afternoon and the man was unaware. 

Just as well it wasn’t summer, just imagine being in a small crawl space in shorts and a cold wet nose touches your read end. A sudden jolt in shock and a bang on the head from the wooden beams inches above you, lol. 


12 October, 2022

Lol’s on Wednesday

 All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man." 
Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives." 

Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"

16 January, 2022

Piecost

 Promises are like pie crust, easily made and easily broken.

 It’s piecost! 

 What’s a piecost?

 About $5.80 at the bakery 🤣😂🤣😂

06 December, 2021

The advent calendar


 

Fuming

 F***ING FUMING IM GONNA FIND YOU!!!!! I just got home to find all the windows wide open!! They've taken everything. Im waiting for the police! The dirty rotten thieving b*****ds. What kind of sick minded person would do that to another person?.............That was my advent calendar and you had no right to open the windows, and eat all my chocolates !! GREEDY F*****S!


Lol, this is doing the rounds on Facebook just now; and so many people fall for it haha ha. Let the Christmas jokes and memes roll on. 



04 December, 2021

Make me feel like a woman

 On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
'I'm too young to die,' she wails.
Then she yells, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth 
to be memorable!
Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.
They all stare, eyes riveted, at this desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a Jackeroo from  Australia stands up in the rear of the plane.
He is handsome, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one
button at a time.
No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.
She gasps. >> >>

He whispers . . . .

'Here, iron this. Then get me a beer'.

Smudge the cat says, clear your toilet

  Good advice, because sooner or later you will be driving the porcelain truck 🤣🤣🤣 AKA talking on the big white phone talking to god….. o...