This makes my blood boil, how many more women have to suffer or die because no one believes them? Few people will step in to help, and the legal system is ingrained with misogyny. This article doesn't point out the warning signs though, it would be very helpful if it did.
Things to watch for like changes in mood of the perpetrator, comments, micro expressions around the mouth and eyes, antisocial behaviour such as constantly not wanting to go out somewhere with you, not letting you go out with friends, preventing your friends from visiting. Preventing you seeing your family, constantly monitoring your activity, criticism, controlling what you wear and how you look. Controlling how you shop, whether it is for groceries or clothes, it doesn't matter what you are buying it's about the power over you. Absolute power, domination and control is what it is all about. This starts from the moment you meet and start dating, so be vigilant. You are targeted immediately by the predator mindset of such individuals. They recognise vulnerability instantly as that is what they are shopping for in a woman, to subjugate and dominate.
In social settings how does the man behave around others and how does he treat you? Does he "jokingly" poke fun at you, knock your cooking, knock what you say, knock how you look or dress in front of other people? Does he criticise you in front of others? These behaviours start not long after you meet and will escalate. Watch out for sudden moody outbursts or giving you the silent treatment for no valid reason, or biting sarcasm and invalidating you as a person, as a woman, as an adult with your own autonomy. You do not need permission from anyone to be you!
Learn to love yourself, respect yourself and do not let others tell you what you should think, say or do or act. Don't let anyone tell you what you should wear, except if it is something that will attract violent men like this to you.
Women need to factor that in for personal safety, it's common sense because some men think it is ok to attack you because of the way you look and dress and how your body looks. They deem you as public property to be used.
Let's face it this is learned behaviour it doesn't just happen out of the blue. Environmental exposure from a very young age shapes the mind to all sorts of experiences and a child's mind is like a computer as it absorbs everything it sees and hears. This is not an ideal world, and women need to stop thinking that they can go where they want, alone and dress how they want also.
That is unrealistic in this world of violence against women. Violence is increasing, not decreasing, so learn to read the subtle cues, and when introduced to his family, look at his parents and siblings behaviour, there are most definitely subtle signs than many ignore. In a busy social setting like a family gathering it can be difficult to pick up on these warnings, it can take a while to notice some signs.
Women in these families tend to be very guarded, watch their eyes though, are they looking to their husband or partner, father, brother or a male relative to see if they are being watched before they speak? That is a red flag make a note of these things. Some women though will defend that abuser and if you speak out they will turn on you for doing so.
This is a huge emotional minefield and you will not have loyal support because everyone looks after themselves and closes rank on you. Friends may drop you because they don't want to get involved too.
From this you then enter the toxic world of the legal system that will put you under the microscope and character destroy you, making you out to be the problem. It is a horrific situation all round when it comes to violent crimes against women and girls and not enough is done to prevent this. Tougher laws as a deterrent is only one small part in stopping this abuse, holding men accountable for their actions, educating children from starting school and following that through into adulthood reinforcing that education, but it still will not stop the violence. Men have to want to stop being violent and abusive if it is in their nature to be violent.
